love makes seman taste better
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
