super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
