ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
