Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
