I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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