Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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