bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
