Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
