He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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