Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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