help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
