I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
