she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize