Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
