can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize