Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
