Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
