I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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