I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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