How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You can't just leave with hair like that
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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