my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
