She said her name was "party"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
