2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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