So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
