He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
