she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
