my text book just quoted the cookie monster
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
