The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
