Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
