I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
