new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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