I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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