she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
