and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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