Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
