Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
