10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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