I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
