Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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