we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
