So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
