This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize