omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
