but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize