when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
