hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we made out on top of his cat.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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