careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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