these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
