It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
