There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
