You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
