He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am one with the molecules
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
