dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
