got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
