Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
