When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
