Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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