He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
40s are totally the cure
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
