this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
