And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
