Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
