i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
