Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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