wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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