Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Acid is not a monday night drug
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
