The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
