It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
