I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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