some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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