So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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