Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
