I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
