Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
