Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
