I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
