My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
foreskin is a definite game changer
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
