You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
