We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize