she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
When are your genitals available?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
