Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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