Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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