Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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