Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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