so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
