You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
