All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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